Confessions of a Terrible Facebooker

Every once in awhile I come across an online post that leaves me utterly dumbfounded. Like the day a friend announced the birth of her newborn baby—Wait!  She was pregnant? Or the time a cousin posted pictures of a recent vacation with his girlfriend—umm, where’s his wife?!

Most of the time, especially in the case of a divorce or death in the family, the news was never formally announced online. So unless my friend and I keep in regular contact, it may not be something I would have known.

However, more and more often, I realize that I just don’t pay enough attention to what goes on in my social media circles anymore.  I tend to scroll way more than I stop and read, and oftentimes I log in just to update my business page and skip my personal one altogether.  Oh, but why, Yvette, WHY?!?! you ask? 😉

Baiting…

Please!  No more sad vague-booking.  It’s the online equivalent of a loud sigh.  “Look at me!” it says.  “Ask me what’s wrong!”  How about you tell us what’s wrong and surely many of us will take time to give you advice or offer a helping hand.

“Here we go again…” is not just your most recent status update, it’s what we all say when we read it.

Also, no more “I’m too good to tell you what I’m currently doing, but I will post a not-so-ambiguous picture so you can sort of figure it out, but still have to ask me to know for sure. “ insta-vaguing, either.

If you want to interact with others, it makes zero sense to be all weird and secretive.

Quotes (and quotes, and more quotes)…

quotes

OMG, seriously.  Does it have to be 13 stanzas, too?  Ain’t nobody got time to read the Iliad and the Odyssey while scrolling FB or IG.  And, please, stop sharing 47 quotes per day in the hopes that someone on your feed will “get the hint”.

One quote: motivational.  Fifty quotes: You’ve got too much time on your hands.

P.S. you really won’t die if you don’t share the quote about loving your kid. There is no FB grim reaper who keeps track of these things. Your kid is probably not even online to see it, and if he is, the last thing he wants is to be tagged in one of those posts.

If you really like quotes, be like me and get a Pinterest account that way you can pin them to your hearts desire.

•     •     •     •

So, lately I miss a lot. I miss that a friend’s daughter is in the hospital. I miss that my cousin got a new job. I miss that my friend posted a new blog, or got a new haircut, or is celebrating an anniversary.

It makes me sad because I want to celebrate or commiserate with my friends.  I don’t want to see 9 months from now that I missed congratulating you on your pregnancy, or find out your grandma passed after several weeks in the hospital because I missed the post.

To all of my friends whose important life events have gone seemingly overlooked, I apologize.  I’m just a terrible Facebooker.

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