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Dear Reader,

The essay you are about to read is about me. It is about my own personal experiences and my own observations. Maybe you know me in real life. But likely, I am a stranger to you, a name on a screen attached to an article—an article to which you may relate, or may take offense.

If you know me, you know that I typically write humorous essays filled with hyperbole, exaggerated for effect and a laugh. I like to laugh; I suspect some of you do, too. If you don’t know me, maybe you take my sarcasm literally.

I promise you, I would never actually pluck my eyes out with a spoon and stab myself in the ears with a pencil to avoid sitting through another episode of Caillou. I am very much aware that it would make me a “selfish mother” never to be able to see my children’s faces or hear their voices again by purposely impaling myself in an attempt to avoid a whiny little cartoon character. It is truly not necessary for you to waste my time, and yours (but mostly mine) by chiding me for my literary embellishments.

dearreader

I am sure that not knowing me and having a sense of anonymity makes it easier for you to dissect my every word, to criticize me or call me names from behind your computer screen. Maybe knowing me isn’t any easier. Perhaps you think that I am somehow making a personal gibe about you. I assure you that I am not.

I am a writer, and my professional work goes through an editor who has the authority to make changes for length or grammar. The deletion of quotation marks or italics can greatly alter the way you perceive my tone and inflection. The replacement of one word has the power to give my piece a completely different feel. Unfortunately, many personal essayists have little to no control over the editing process. I ask you to take for granted that what I write is not meant to offend, but to express my own feelings, thoughts, doubts, and worries. Writing, like all art, is at the mercy of interpretation.

Dear reader, consider being less cynical. Embrace the wisdom, humor, sarcasm, strength and courage of the writers before you. Be encouraging and supportive, or be still and be quiet. Be inspired to write and share your own story! I, for one, would love to hear it—and I promise to only leave positivity in the comments.

Author’s Note: It’s been awhile, my friends! A lot has happened in the many months since I last blogged, not the least of which has been to pursue a freelance career. I will periodically share some of my freelance work here on AquaSeventy6. Scroll below to find the original publication. Cheers and enjoy.

8 Unique Dates For You and Your Teenage Daughter

It’s summer. She’s in her room texting her friends, Instagramming selfies or pictures of her sleeping dog. I know this because I’ve been in the living room Instagramming my feet propped on the coffee table with the opening credits of the new season of Orange Is the New Black on in the background.

I knock out of courtesy, pop my head in and ask if she remembers that she has a mom. She smiles, blows me a kiss and asks me to close the door on the way out. Burn. I, too, was a teenager once and wanted very little to do with my mom. Granted, my mom wasn’t nearly as cool and connected as I am, but I get it. As much as I preach to my friends with younger kids about the importance of being a parent first, there is a place deep down in my heart that ~~wants~~ needs her to like me as much as she loves me.

A couple of summers ago, I started planning some strictly mother-daughter activities. Up to that point, I did everything with both of my kids. But, by the time my son started high school, he gladly opted out of our “quick” trips to the mall.

There is something indescribably special about spending one-on-one time with each of your kids. They don’t have to share your attention, and there is way less compromise when choosing activities. Here are eight mother-daughter dates that will get your teen to emerge from her room this summer, bring you closer together and help create long-lasting memories.

1. Pretend Prom Dress Shopping

We pick out an armful of prom/special occasion dresses from the junior’s section of a department store, and I take photos of her wearing each of the gowns (no matter how they look!). We started this when she was 9, and we do it every summer.

2. Binge Watch a TV Show

We love Netflix! We curl up under a blanket on a rainy summer afternoon and stream our favorite shows. This opens up a lot of dialogue on friendships, romantic relationships, parent-child relationships, drugs and sex. TV show suggestions for a teen:Gilmore Girls, Parenthood, The Wonder Years.

GGirls

3. Read a Book Together

Two summers ago we read Wonder by R.J. Palacio. Last summer we read Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume. If reading aloud isn’t your thing, download the OverDrive app for your smart phone and check out free audiobooks from your local library. We’ve listened to books as a family on road trips such as The Incorrigible Children of Ashton Place series by Maryrose Wood, Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli and Lord of the Flies by William Golding.

4. Listen to a Podcast

OK, this is a tricky one, considering the lure of a lot of podcasts is their no-holds-barred format. My daughter is a little older, so we listen to Gilmore Guys. But, she also loves This American Life and TED Radio Hour. There are lots of crafting, science and higher education podcasts available as well. I recommend listening to a couple of episodes of any podcast to be sure it is age-appropriate before introducing it to your daughter.

5. Get Matching Mani/Pedis (Let Her Pick the Color!)

My daughter loves to paint her nails dark, bold colors, while I tend to stick to bright pinks or neutrals. Letting her pick my nail color lets her know that I trust her and value her taste.

6. Cook a Meal Together

I let my daughter choose an interesting recipe from a cookbook or online. Together, we buy the ingredients and prepare the meal. The only rule is that it has to be something she is willing to eat (which means it’s usually some derivative of pizza!)

7. Take Photos of Her in Your Wedding Gown

I did this with my daughter when she was 9. These photos are some of my favorites ever!

8. Start a Mother-Daughter Journal

Meredith and Sophie Jacobs wrote Just Between Us: A No-Stress, No-Rules Journal for Girls and Their Moms. This is a Q&A, fill-in-the-blank journal with prompts such as: “I often dream about…” and “My biggest regret….” It also has tons of blank space to write about whatever is on your minds. My daughter has opened up so much in this journal, and I feel like I know her better than ever!

journal

I want my daughter to look back at our summers and have specific and lasting memories of me as a young(ish) and agile mom. I want her to think of me with a fondness that carries over into adulthood, to relate to me and to trust me, not only now, but also when she becomes a mom.

I want to be the Lorelai to her Rory (or the Sarah to her Amber.) BFFs 4-ever! A girl can dream right?